“Today I was reminded that healing isn’t always about finding answers. Sometimes it’s about continuing to ask questions with hope.”
Yesterday, I didn’t post because I spent nearly six hours with a neuropsychologist having my brain tested.
The day was filled with lists of words to remember, numbers to repeat forward…then backward…and then rearranging numbers from lowest to highest. There were pictures I had to redraw from memory, the familiar clock test, and even a computer test that left me more frustrated than I expected.
As the testing continued, I found myself feeling something I wasn’t prepared for.
I felt…dumb.
I know that isn’t what the testing is measuring. The purpose isn’t to determine whether someone is intelligent. But in those moments, sitting there trying so hard to remember something that seemed so simple, I couldn’t help but wonder…
Why can’t I remember this?
Why can’t I draw what I just saw?
The frustration built until tears came.
I apologized to the assistant because I knew the testing wasn’t meant to make me feel that way, but I couldn’t stop the emotions. I felt embarrassed, frustrated, and honestly…a little defeated.
The assistant was kind and understanding. He reminded me that many people feel emotional during this type of testing because it asks your brain to do things that don’t always come easily anymore.
When the testing was over, I started thinking about something.
No matter what the results eventually say…
Yesterday reminded me that the hardest part isn’t always the diagnosis.
Sometimes it’s what happens inside your own heart while you’re waiting for the answers.
Whether the tests confirm what I have believed for years or point me in a different direction, my experiences remain real.
The forgotten conversations.
The moments of confusion.
The frustration.
The fear.
Those things happened.
They have shaped my life, changed my confidence, and even changed the way I interact with the world.
I don’t know yet what the final report will say.
Maybe it will confirm what I’ve believed for years.
Maybe it will point me in another direction.
Either way…
I’m learning that healing isn’t always about finding answers.
Sometimes healing is choosing to keep asking questions.
Choosing to keep learning.
Choosing to keep hoping.
Today, I’m giving myself a little grace.
Maybe that’s something we all need to do more often.
If you’re waiting on test results…
If you’re waiting on healing…
If you’re waiting for someone to finally understand what you’re going through…
Please know this:
Your worth is not measured by a test score.
You are not your diagnosis.
You are not your memory.
You are not your hardest day.
You are still you.
So today…
Pour yourself a cup of coffee.
Take a deep breath.
Give yourself a little grace.
The answers will come when they’re ready.
Until then…
I’ll save you a seat at the table.
☕❤️
– Virginia
☕ Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Have you ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling more emotional than you expected?
Or are you waiting for answers of your own?
I’d love to hear your story.
Leave a comment below…
Because sometimes the best healing begins with a conversation over coffee. ❤️☕
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